Hollow Body

I wish I could sing with urgency
But currently I only hum under my breath.
I used be to so sincere
Sincerely believing in so many things
Like I could change the world
And have love handed to me on a silver platter
All the while believing in an inherit innocence in creation.
Now I'm not so sure about all those beliefs.

I still want to believe that there's light in the storm
And that music can still be heard above the static.
I think the bravest souls are those who venture out among masses
To play their songs, tell their stories, and share their hope.
Words have weight so weigh them carefully before sculpting
You could build world from words and songs and laughter.
On the days where I fear that the words I write are empty,
The days where I just don't feel anything,
I just remind myself that violins are hollow.

In Pockets

Haikus are like spare
Change, I always have some that are
Rattling around me.

Twenty-One Times You'll Say Goodbye

If you love life you will learn to say goodbye
For this journey will be full of them.
Learn to say them well, they matter just as much as hellos.

You will learn to say goodbye to loved ones,
Bedded down in pine and embraced by the earth.
You will learn to say goodbye for the night
After your lover drops you off at home.
You will learn to say goodbye as you wave to your parents
After they moved you to your new life.
You will learn to say goodbye when you come home
And learn that your pet was gently given over to sleep.
You will learn to say goodbye and then forget your social cues
As you two awkwardly walk in the same general direction.
You will learn to say goodbye as to save your life
From the poisons you might be holding dear.
You will learn to say goodbye to homes and harbors you've known
As you head out towards the unknown, alone or in good company.
You will learn to say goodbye to all your friends
Maybe for education, for choices, for changing of names.
You will learn to say goodbye to dreams, maybe not all,
As you grow older and hopefully dream a little bolder.
You will learn to say goodbye to petty quarrels
So bite the bullet, admit you were wrong, save yourself some pain.
You will learn to say goodbye when you're least aware
A bad day, quiet day, a day late; just be prepared.
You will learn to say goodbye in advance
As you prepare for the inevitable uprooting of life.
You will learn to say goodbye quietly or even not at all
Sometimes just slipping away silently is all you should do.
You will learn to say goodbye to pieces of your heart
Either violently broken and stolen or simply handed out.
You will learn to say goodbye to days given to the past
Childhood day dreams or darker things long gone now.
You will learn to say goodbye to simpler things
A favorite song, a favorite dish, things you might not miss.
You will learn to say goodbye to many families and homes
That have all adopted you as their own.
You will say goodbye to the safety that you thought you had
When your shields are torn down and thrown away.
You will learn to say goodbye to your childhood
As you hide away your toys like closeted time capsules
You will learn to say goodbye to all the bad days you've weathered
More are coming you know but don't let them linger on after they're done.
You will learn to say goodbye
And all will simply be.

Sucker's Luck

I think I would trade being loved by most people
For being remembered by those I love most.
But despite my desire to be memorable,
I worry that I'll stay and linger when I know I should go.
I'll always steal moments as I play witness
To some written honesty,
Some couple's kiss.
Moments like secrets I shouldn't have seen
And I feel guilty, just for being there.
So I will stand here and be quietly magnificent
In suit and tie and impossible contradictions
And what's funny is that the most thought out part of me happens to be anxiety.
In regards to silent goodbyes, to awkward accidental reunions;
I've taught myself to fear all of life's surprises that catch me off guard.
I promise you won't find me brave upon initial meeting.
Maybe I just like my self-loathing self
In order to pay penance for all the innocence I've pocketed.
The only way to live this is life is to dance through it all
But I've never been able to keep a beat.
Yes I'm what lurks beneath my own bed;
A strange beast that breathes and sleeps and regrets things it's seen.
Maybe all our monsters deserve to be pitied as they dream their own dreams
Of being redeemed.

Thimble Full of Fire

I watched as you dropped your bouquet to the forest floor
And hid among the tall grass.
I chased the dream of you among the trees,
Weaving a lonely little path here and there.
I know I'll never catch up,
With my hands always grasping through the mist.
But your notes continue to resound through out the woods
As I try to follow your symphony.

I never noticed the weight of continuing this chase,
Too heavy to hold to the course.
You all told me so
The only way to go and I know,
So I let go, let go, let go
So here I end this race,
Never did I match my pace that I had when I entered this place.
I have burned myself out,
Worn myself down,
So I must go, I must go, I must go.

As I take one last look back through the woods,
I see you carrying on and upwards, upon new paths not known to me.
Now we are free.
Now we are free.

Mimic

A crowd says everything and nothing at once
And I am lost.
There is no substance in this white noise,
No solid ground to stand on.
All drums and no rhythm.
Going faster makes no difference
When losing sight of the road.
And so the drone passes on
And on
And on
And on
And on.
Now the original note has been lost,
Pitch by pitch the old tone is shifted,
All that I shout to be heard is now buried.
I never wanted discord,
Disharmony,
And disbelief.
Just as I thought I was never part of the noise,
Surely I only added to it, perfectly in tune
With the songs I didn't want to sing.

Mountain Laid Low

A man spent his whole life
Tearing down a mountain,
A stone at a time.

He did it all for his ailing wife,
A deconstructed monument
To the testament of stubborn love.

I'd like to see his hands,
The hands that tore down a mountain,
Just so his love didn't have to walk around.

I'd like to see his feet
And the miles that they've climbed,
Covered in the dust of the mountain.

I'd like to see his dreams.
Does he remember the mountain
Before he laid it low?

Did he apologize to each stone as he toiled alone,
Did he carry them down like broken children
Or wept as he swept them over the dwindling precipice.

Because of love a colossus was irrevocably eroded.
So do you think he feels sad for sacrificing the mountain
Now that he's left himself with an empty horizon.

Minor Characters

There can be such thunder in our hearts,
Echoing in the distance or up close shaking our window panes
But sometimes I choose to go quietly.

You were a fortress with chin resting on knees,
Silhouetted in the hall,
Back perfectly aligned against the wall.

Your voice gave shape to worlds.
You conducted a symphony as your finger met parchment
And every word a crescendo.

I read your story well and bookmarked my favorite pages.
Honored that you shared it with me,
I'm at peace being a footnote on the pages where I lingered.

You were a kindness,
A story that I would prefer to keep reading, now or later,
But all good stories deserve good endings.

Let me down gently so I may be lost in that slow current
Of well-worn remembrance,
Because nothing ever reads as good as when read in nostalgia.