Nightly Window

It's impossible to sleep with a hurting heart

So perhaps that's why I feel like a ghost here

Falling in love with shadows and ruins

And my vintage, water-colored childhood.

Green came streaking through the trees and grass

With blue hues cascading from the heavens

And red leaked from your young yearning heart

As innocence earnestly ran in the streets.

What's the point of time when minutes are hours and hours minutes;

Everything stopped making sense as soon as head met pillow.

You became legend and myth
As my sleep deprived thoughts
Shaped my waking perceptions.
You can be such a spectre,
Shattering at first sunlight.
You were the thunder,
The lightning,
The rain.
You were a storm and I all could do was stand there and wait.
I wanted to waltz across the deserts and oceans with you.
Afraid that I would trip and wake with fright,
I let you lead and I drowned in your seas of sand and foam
And I was bathed in salt and heat.

Bloody nose on bloody pillows,

Stayed awake all night, had nightmares to fight.

I dreamed of spiders stalking over my bed,

So I lurched from sleep, afraid I was followed into waking.

Storms never had me worried before, taking comfort from ferocity,

But now I woke with fear as rain met my window;
A pane of glass was all that was between me and the cold and dark.
It all sounded like the world was ending that night.

Hit the bed and fell awake

Before sleep walking beneath the sun.

Once I dreamed of golden shores, now far away and hard to find.

Sometimes I still feel comfort in trying to sleep.

I let the cold air of the room drive me below the covers.

It's not that I mind the cave that I've created,

I just think I've fallen a little too far down;

Sleep would be nice by now.

To Build A Home

A home is a good thing to want.

Four walls to keep the world from seeping in;
A harbor, a fortress, a place to sleep away Saturdays.

Let's make it all sacred, let's make it all safe;
We'll have enough wear and tear when we return from out there.

A house is made of wood and brick and by design
But a home is light and love grown on hallowed ground.

Remember a home is not built all in one night
It will take time but you must do it right.

So gather your patience and gather your wit
Raise up your walls and build them thick.

After all, you're building not just for yourself,
To raise a real home you must not remain alone

Friends and family and some that blur the lines,
Or maybe you'll have just the One but all can lend a hand.

If you build it right then the laughter and stories will echo on,
Long after you're gone.

Wonders We Lost

Every moment I held dear, left in slow motion.

Fireworks rose above the trees as we children laughed and dreamed.
Fall fell and we all grew a little bit older, a little bit colder, as the trees slept.
Snow blew horizontal, a pure curtain parted as I passed through the drifts.
Puddles soon swelled up from impacts of bare feet dancing in the street.

Hellos are lost and goodbyes linger.
Tall trees are laid low in the wake of storms,
While others grow up after death takes what it wants.
Some days you came home from school
Just to find out that the dog had been put to sleep.
Distance grew between between friends up the street,
Inch by broken concrete inch.

Some days have been easier to remember than others.

I found my breath that Sunday afternoon,

In my lungs hidden beneath skin and bones and sunlight.

The rain that splashed my lips

Was the closest I've had to a pure kiss.

We walked the town with the future over our heads

Where years before I spoke the words Tuesday wrote.

Talks between friends that lasted late into summer nights,

Lying innocently to ourselves that we would change the world.

Wasted hours were never wasted with friends,

On couches and floors, in front of screens or outdoors.

I wish I had breathed a little slower, a little surer;
Made every breath a "Hallelujah"

I think it is no ill thing to visit the past
As long as you don't linger and listlessly lean on it for support.

Sometimes we all need to relive our stories.

Care

One day I woke up
And fell out of love.
There was no warning.
There was no confusion.
It just happened
With such clarity too;
It was alarming
How easy it was,
As easy as say...
Pulling off the sheets,
Rubbing sleep from eyes,
Stretching with sinews singing
Towards the ceiling.
I don't think it's you,
I don't know if it's just me,
Nothings hurts,
Nothing is wrong,
So maybe it'll be best
To wait and see.
It's easy to be
Comfortably complacent;
No catalyst
No motivation
No loss,
At first.
It takes hard work
To start a new fire
Once the heart goes dark.

Sea Through Rain

Run your fingers through the rain
I'll twist my ankle, just a sprain
So I lay awake after the thunder has tucked me in
Beneath the covers that cover my feet.
I am graceless but I am steady
I know by now we might never be ready.
Maybe it's how I wish I could set the pace
Of running the halls, dancing on tables,
All before it's too late.

A downpour creates something more
And now we must move on.

Let's laugh as the sea crashes in;
Listen now and you can hear it.
Through windows, through doors,
Through the halls, and where we once stood.
Let the past drown, leave it down and out and behind,
You shouldn't have to carry the weight of what is now done.
The best parts will float after you anyway.

Champagne Novocaine

This taste was different as it lingered on the tip of my tongue.

Sure the shame still stood out with its crimson hues,

Bleeding through and rising over my face.

The regret rolled across the roof of my mouth,

Curling and churning ghosts, busy haunting the back of my mind.

The sorrow I had swallowed several times before,

Bitter and black and heavy as it sank down.

I can catch lingering lines of novocaine that I had self-prescribed, 

Now my tongue's too numb to raise for the right words.

And underneath it all I finally taste the free air.