A Brief Evening With Hemingway

I found myself at a cocktail party once,
Hugging myself close to the wall
As Hemingway occupied everything else in the room.
He won himself quite the audience that evening,
Wetting his whistle with whiskey
And spouting terse terms
Of what Spain had been like
And of Africa before that,
All to underline some broad stroke of masculinity.

A rule that I always seem to break
Is to never make eye contact
With someone you don't want in your life,
No matter how brief that may be.
So when I committed that personal sin,
With the man at the center of attention,
He slopped and sipped his gin towards me
And said

"Write drunk."
And all the men and women laughed and cheered
As he was swallowed up once again by his worshipers.

I just stood there and shifted my weight around.
After all that's what I'm good at, maybe even good for.
So I said "Good night." to the wall,
Thanked it for some good conversation,
And found my way out the door.

Write drunk and you'll prolong the inevitable act of remembering.
Writing sober will hurt but the pain will paint for you your words.

Concrete Canyons

We were not made for this grey desert,
This blistering wasteland of towering concrete coffins.
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream, as this place takes hold of me.
No one grows in a cage, we cannot stay and we should not stop.
Let me out,

Let me out,

Let me out from behind these built up walls.

I have been pent up long enough thank you very much.

I don't want to pass away here, among only what man has made.

Let me down to sleep on the silent fields of this last golden summer,

Beneath the stars that have been hidden too long from me.

Concrete Canyons

Weight of Light

The sun intruded on the rain today,
I was never a fan of that.
It's like the sun decided to rain
On my rainy day parade;
An unwelcomed guest at someone else's party.
But I grew to admire the sun in its tenacious parting of the clouds;
A fierce force of fire through the storm.

I believe that light bears weight
As it presses against the lids of our eyes.
Strong enough to burn our breath away,
That molten eye above us all.

So if you go outside some day,
And you find the sun hanging loud in the sky,
Stop and think about the scope of it all.

Just a Handful of Words

Do these words have meaning
Just because I wrote some down, conceiving
Some ideas, some thoughts of fear, love, and trepidation.
So do you think what my words bare are worth believing
While I speak and shake and ponder how quickly I can be leaving
So that I may go and hide behind my friendship as I tremble with hesitation.

They say write about what you do know
And I'm supposed to know me personally
But personally I find it hard to know me
As my emotions and thoughts drag me away from where I should be.

You can see my disdain plain on my face, as I wrestle and cope

Pondering if I've ever even said anything of any significance.

My math is one word plus an idea times direction divided by doubt
And I end up with a sum of less than what I had hoped to amount to.

All my words have rebelled up at me, at one time or another.
All I can do is apologize for using them like that.

A Dangerous Habit

Have hope,
Be it for a day or a better tomorrow,
But have hope all the same.

You may feel alone and you may be ashamed,
You will feel silly and more than a little insane,
But have hope all the same.

Look for it in wordless music
As all the best things in life are found in unsaid contentment.
Look for it in strangers
Who'll save a stranger or simply pay for the guy behind in line.
Look for it in nature
When everything thaws and trees dress nice for evenings once again.

So you will always find hope
As long as you have eyes to see.

The Year of Being 18

Is this supposed to be the apex?

Do you really consider this the epicenter?

Some two-thousand years of human progress,

And we’ve hardly left the arena.

It’s the same every year,

Repeating the Tiananmen Square of the America teenager.

Seek knowledge! Chase achievement! Pursue popularity!

But don’t think beyond the walls and why aren’t you in line?

Two dumb kids fall onto the bed in love,

Only to fall through the floor into the maternity ward.

Why did we even consider ourselves wise.

How did we ever consider ourselves invincible.

Arise! Oh those born with bright eyes and questions in mouth,

Make noise out loud and make it glorious,

Wield your innocence and clutch it like a sword

For yourself and your fellow warrior poets.

Alarm us all with how disarmingly easy it is

To have identity in the age of stressed anonymity,

With everyone wanting you to do or be something,

It’s your inaction that shines the brightest.

Friends for the Finale

Some of you I've forgotten how you walked into my life
While others I'll never forget your graceful entrance.
I am humbled in this home, hallowed by your presence.

How long a friendship lasts is not what makes it important
But rather the ability to endure such tests.
Some of us have been forced apart by time, distance and mortality;
Others just as grand, but never quite the same as any one of you,
Have come alongside to shine in this grand and vast Milky Way.

If I could I would have us all build a permanent home together,
I would raise it up as a shelter; never a place of want or need.
We would shelter this storm and others that would come and pass.

But we can't, this story was not meant to unfold this way.

So arm your promises and practice your "Good-byes"
But let's walk together, please, over one, last, final hill.

No Man

Remember, no man is stronger than the one who asks questions,
Because asking questions leads to answers and these will strengthen you.
They will pull you out of the dirt and sand where you have been for so long.

No man is really made of iron or steel or stone but of heavier things.
You are flesh and blood and dreams and failures and strengths.
Remember this, build your home on these, but don't let it pull you down to the deep.

No man is less than the sum of his whole,
But does that really just mean that no man is more than an island?
That we're designed to be defined by the globe and not the sand and trees?

So what are we supposed to be?
We can spend our whole lives chasing one mystery after another
But are we ever content with the man behind the curtain once it's drawn back?

Now hear this, ahead of you are ravines and cliffs and mountains and caverns.
Charge on and be clever bout it; living well and dying well are two sides of the coin
Map your journey and share it with those behind; accept from those ahead.

Remember dear soul,
Travel well but never alone, for your light will shine brightest among other bearers.

No Man

Somewhere to Long For

I long for a summer of beauty.
The heat may scorch my lungs and the wind may blister my skin,
But I have been without the sun for far too long.

I woke up to find myself here,
bathing in this summer night.
These woods open up and dance,
the trees creaking in unison.

Nothing is truly beautiful,
Without some measure of challenge,
So love will be our end ascent.

I have slept through the dark of winter,
Arisen into the beginnings of spring,
And walked into the halls of summer.

I am adrift and at peace.

A Difference Between Doubt and Despair

Let's be honest, it's easier to be cynical,
To take things as literal and strip of their meaning.
But don't you find it demeaning, to not believe in love?
That above all that there is, that there's no story behind the scenes?
Sometimes it's just hard to see, between you and me.

So why is hope something a little bit more than we stand?
We act with grand designs but then we create our own suffering.
Look, we all want to be something, that's all fine and great,
But we must move at a faster rate if we are ever to escape gravity
Or we'll all wake up with a cavity where our soul once lived.

We are all looking for that one special "experience"
So when we finally cross that distance we're tempted to trivialize it
Commercialize it so we aren't alone with the discovered truth about ourselves.
Ring all the bells, wave all the white flags, and hear your swan song of selling out.
If your devout faith is to doubt then you will find every way out of believing.

Alone at Night